this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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