Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That accounts for only three of the penises
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
