"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
