You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
