Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
