somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
