Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
