my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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