I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My vagina is very pro this idea
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
