grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
