It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
