she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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