Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
