i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
