lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I pour the whiskey from now on
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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