Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
