I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dignity is for republicans.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
