so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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