just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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