we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
