My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
