When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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