Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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