No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Acid is not a monday night drug
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
