I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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