Its about making memories worth repressing
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
