I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
