I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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