I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
