I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You took a bar mat shot.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
