Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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