Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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