My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
