So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
how drunk are you?
Several
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
