I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize