Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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