Sry I called you an 8
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
