bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
