the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
