just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
