YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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