he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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