I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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