Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
