girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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