she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
