let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
