i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
