i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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