Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I want a musical about memes.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
