my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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