do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
